yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
