I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
