so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
