Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
