Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
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This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize