I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Found your dick twin last night
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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