Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize