ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
