the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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