I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize