Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize