Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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