Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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