its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Send help, water and tortillas.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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