I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
