Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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