We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
