As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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