We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
