You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Semen is not good for contacts.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
