the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
