I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
