i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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