I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize