I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
