so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
