"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
