Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
