It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
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Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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