Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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