Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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