Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
