I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Someone shit on the floor
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Randomize
