God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
