Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
