Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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