I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.