Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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