he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's