somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
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I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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