someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I skipped work to stalk him.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
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