just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i drank out of a bidet.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
