I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
