what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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