my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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