i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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