I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I don't deserve a penis
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
