The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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