so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
