Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
PANTIES FOUND
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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