Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
