first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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