ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize