he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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