Have you finally orgasmed yet?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
