you would pick up someone in the library
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
