so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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