so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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