can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
