I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
